With the 178th Munich Oktoberfest well under way and our inaugural trip to the world’s largest fair approaching in just 3 days, it’s time to ensure that we are in top form. In fact I have actually been working out now for this precise moment for a number of years to make sure I am in tip-top shape before we get there.
First things first is making sure we look good. Tracht meaning “traditional attire” for either women or men and for men basically consists of traditional knee length leather lederhosen’s (shorts), braces/suspenders, white socks and a pointy hat. For women it usually consists of a short-sleeved blouse, traditional dress/skirt, and a pinafore.
Considering that a traditional pair of lederhosen’s would set me back over a $200 we decided to go with the tacky, cheap and nasty version and buy a set online from one of those terrible costume stores. I am still waiting for them to show up in the mail this week so I cannot preview them here unfortunately. Hopefully everyone will be too boozed to notice how ridiculous we look.
Adela has also had her fair share of trouble finding an outfit. All the tacky, cheap and nasty online versions make her look like a low-paid hooker. However, she settled on one as well so will see what shows up!
With a stein of beer (1 litre) costing around $9 its going to get costly pretty quickly. However, since the beer is usually above 5% then we are guaranteed to get smashed (if we feel inclined) quickly. My goal is to NOT get too drunk, not sure how many times I have said that before, so going to budget between 50 – 60 Euro’s a day. This should cover me for a couple of steins, as well as the traditional Oktoberfest food of meat with enough left over for emergencies such as another stein or two.
6 million visitors crowd in to Munich every year for 16 days of beautiful beer drinking mayhem. With only a limited number of beer tents actually having seats that are not reserved we have been told that the tents will be closed to entry by lunchtime most days with the weekends obviously being busier. Luckily we arrive first thing on Thursday so will head straight to the tents to hopefully grab a table. Depending on how our head feels each morning we will try to head down around 10am to secure some seats.
Failing our plan above I have heard all the beer gardens are awesome as well. Note to self, don’t ride the merry-go-round or chair-o-plane after spending the day in the beer tents.
I cannot wait to see the Thor like strength of the serving girls at Oktoberfest. From the stories I have heard, they sound like a mythical being or legendary creature, much like a fairy apart from they don’t have wings and they can carry copious amounts of beer steins in each hand. Actually nothing like fairies then.
To make sure that I impress these serving girls I have been in training to ensure that I can lift my 1 litre Masskrug (beer stein) with ease to my mouth. This will also stop any spilling of the golden nectar all over my hideous imitation lederhosen’s. For the last 3 weeks I have been wandering around our flat with a 2 litre jug in my left hand (my drinking hand) making sure that I constantly spin around and bump into everything. I have become quite adept at not spilling any liquid although our flatmates were starting to get quite annoyed at the mess.
Music and Traditional Songs:
The final part of our training has been to practice our traditional Oktoberfest songs. Considering I am no Adele (not to be confused with Adela) this has not been easy. In fact considering that I don’t even speak a word of German this has been nigh on impossible. However, I will persist and for some reason I sound so much better when I am drunk…
In München steht ein Hofbräuhaus
Da läuft so manches Fäßchen aus: Eins, zwei, … g’suffa!
Da hat so manche braver Mann: Eins, zwei, … g’suffa!
Gezeigt was er so vertragen kann
Schon früh am Morgen fing er an
Und spät am Abend kam er heraus
So schön ist’s im Hofbräuhaus.
Apparently in English this roughly translates to:
There are so many brave men: one, two … cheers!
Show what he can endure
Already early in the morning he begins
And late at night he comes out
So beautiful it is in the Hofbräuhaus!
Now that the hour is nearly upon us I feel that our training and preparations will pay off and we will fit in just perfectly. In fact I have a feeling that we will fit in so well that we will more than likely be invited back next year to tap the first keg and folk songs will be sung in our honour. I expect future Oktober-ites will flock to this website just to discover how we achieved such greatness.
Realistically I just hope to not make a fool of myself by falling asleep with my head on the table or on a large Bavarian man’s shoulder.
If you have any other tips or want to share your own Oktoberfest experiences in the comments then that would be greatly appreciated.